Book him, Danno.

Once every blue moon I make mention of my forthcoming book. Actually, said book has undergone several incarnations during this extended time I've been blue-moon mentioning it. The details of what it was supposed to have been - and how the art intended for it was snatched up and thrown at another project - is a long and uninteresting tale. Suffice it to say that eventually I settled on something and began production.

Zero Percent Cotton (subtitled One Man's Near Complete Failure as a Tshirt Artist) is an inventory of the beaucoup designs I submitted to the ongoing, unending tshirt design competition that is Threadless.com. Each page features a design, its score, and (with heaps of tongue in cheek) why it failed to be chosen to be squeegeed onto a shirt. But the book is not to be. Or very likely not to be. Or not to be at this time, its destiny perhaps being discussed once again next blue moon.

There are two reasons I've put the book on ice: 1) Of late I've been reaching into the cache of Threadless rejects in an attempt to actually bring some to torso-emblazoning life in other places. I'm not entirely comfortable asking nice people to part with cash to have art on their chests and then asking them to part with more cash just to see the same art printed on paper. 2) Though I pounded the podium and made the pronouncement that I'd no longer submit designs to Threadless (I'm getting too old, I'm becoming too freaky, etc.) today I scratch my chin, stare into space in deep thought, and hope there's no videotaped evidence of that podium pounding episode. There's a distinct possibility that the book would be out of date before it was even published (because, you know, I fully expect angry mobs of rejectors welcome my return with a barrage of zeroes).

In conclusion, good people, here's a sampling of what might have been:

Comments

[zak]

And for rejecting your designs i despise threadless...

[Brian]

Oh, no, don't hate those guys! I did have one particularly hairy design to make the grade:

http://www.threadless.com/submission/75625/Sasquatch_Redux_Peace_Out/

Anyways, it's not the management which give designs the thumbs up or thumbs down. It is instead John and Jane Public who cast the votes which determine which designs go on the tees. But don't hate them either.

[Mr C.]

Pop-ups! Finally!

My eyes go pop-pop
and my mind goes want-want
when I watch those wonderful pages.
Clean, balanced and oh so very tasteful design!

Don't be entirely comfortable!
Don't scratch your chin!
Don't stare into space!
Hand me the book already!

[extrarice]

For what it's worth, I'd buy a book of your work.

[zak]

the shirts i would bet money on loose badly in the vote, the people's tastes are so weird there. I didnt mean the website itself (i have about 3 threadless t-shirts and people keep noticing them, which makes me happy)

[Stephen Reese]

In my opinion, Brian, your designs are perhaps a smidgen too...cerebral...to get the popular vote at Threadless. Meaning, you can't just look at them and go, COOL! You also find yourself thinking.

And may I say, that is one of the things I love about them.

And may I also say - lest any Threadless fans take issue - I do love certain of those t-shirts as well.

Meaning, I've bought from Brian (via Zazzle) and I've bought from Threadless too, and should the twain meet again, even more of my wallet shall be emptied. ;)

Peace,
Stephen

[Brian]

You know, I'd love to get my hands on a government grant, a grant whose sole purpose for being awarded to me is to make possible the creation and free distribution of tshirts to the kind people who comment here at my lowly blog.

[Tim Drage]

Haha amazing book title! When you do make a book of some kind i'll buy it for sure!

Thought you might be interested to see my 1-bit pixel noise graphic novel: http://www.cementimental.com/noisebook/index.html

[Tina]

I've gotten a bit tired of Threadless voters not "getting" the more cerebral designs, which means their t-shirts are getting more and more just pretty but with less content. I really love your designs--have you considered http://www.bountee.com/ instead of/in addition to Zazzle?